emotional masochism

 i want to hurt worse, sometimes

i don’t know why -


i wish sometimes i went through more,

to justify

why i’m so sore -

and if i was victim

of some crime,


i wouldn’t want to wonder why

i want to hurt sometimes.


maybe if i was hit by a car 

and almost broke my spine,

i’d have reason to worry

every time i had to drive.


i wonder why i want to hurt sometimes.


if everyone i knew was always cruel

if my loved ones didn’t treat me well, 

it’d explain why i lose my cool

and failure feels like hell.


i really shouldn’t want more pain

what kind of person would choose,

to twist normal scenarios

into a horrible way to lose?


what kind of person wants to hurt sometimes?

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